Alone
by Lucrezia
Summary: Reflective fic on Yui's feelings toward Tamahome and Miaka.


Alone  
  
~  
  
Disclaimer: I do not own these characters, they belong to Yu Watase. The lyrics at the end belong to Linkin Park.  
  
A delicate figure stood in the broad frame of Tamahome's doorway, blonde strands of hair fell in blue eyes. Light pierced the darkness of the chamber, drawing shadows across tan skin and painting patterns of white over wisps of green hair. Beautiful, handsome, yes; but was it looks that had stolen her breath away and made her heart race? There was something else about him, something indescribable that made her long to be with him. She cursed her own emotions and wondered at them for a moment. It wasn't like her to feel this way, she had always kept a clear mind, nothing could get in the way of what was important; her studies. She had been quite popular at home, that is until she had cut her hair, but even after she had refused every offer. All thoughts of ordinary had been swept away by him; a man, that was all. Why couldn't she just forget him?  
  
"Do I love him?" She breathed the words almost silently as she stared in confusion.  
  
He had fallen in love with Miaka, her own best friend, or at least was her friend. Everything had changed so much when they had been pulled from reality and dropped into this place. All she had wanted was to go home, to find Miaka and go home. But Miaka didn't care about her... not even when she had needed her most. She only wanted him; only thought of this man. Yui's thoughts suddenly stopped; and she watched Tamahome for another moment. He was here with her now, away from Miaka... maybe he could just forget about her. Miaka didn't love him; she couldn't possibly...  
  
"Tell me, Tamahome, what is so intriguing about her? Would you have fallen for me just the same if I had been the Priestess of Suzaku?" She whispered the words more to herself than to him. He had saved Miaka, saved her from what Yui, herself, had not been saved, and now he protected her faithfully; thought of no one but her. "Why didn't you save me..."  
  
Her jaw was now clenched painfully and her hands balled tightly into fists, her nails digging into her skin. She shut her eyes, trying to stop the tears that threatened to spill. Flashes of the dark alley came back to her; of the men's faces that were so devoid of any sympathy. They hadn't cared whether she lived or died as long as they had what they wanted.  
  
"Cold."  
  
She had been so cold... so alone. The alley drifted from her mind and in its place she saw crimson pools on cold stone. Her own blood, trickling down her wrist and over her hands in intricate webs that grew until the soft white skin had vanished into red. Yui forced her eyes open and focused on what was there before her. She moved silently into the room and sat on the edge of the bed. His head tilted slightly then went still again. He looked as though he may be dreaming and his brow furrowed somewhat. "I'm sorry I've caused you so much pain. But not Miaka... she should know what it feels like to hurt. Even in losing you, she'll never understand..." Her words were barely audible this time.  
  
She couldn't stop the tears now, and they fell freely from her eyes, breaking into a thousand droplets as they shattered against Tamahome's hand. She wiped at her face but her body only began to tremble as she finally cried.  
  
Tamahome's eyes fluttered open and he stared at Yui for a moment before speaking. "Yui? What's wrong?" He pushed himself up and then tried to calm her trembling body.  
  
She wished that it was more than concern she heard in his voice.  
  
"I'm sorry... I didn't mean to wake you. I just had this dream... I thought you were gone..." Her voice was shaky and she struggled to breathe calmly. She hadn't wanted his pity; that's not why she was here. Once she had seen that he had not gone and that it had only been a dream, she had stayed because she just... wanted to be near him.  
  
"I'm not leaving, Yui. Not without you. We're leaving together, remember?" he said, as if there were no other answer.  
  
"Yes, I know." Then she turned and gave him a little smile and walked away.  
  
"Are you sure you're going to be okay, Yui?" he asked and she could feel his questioning eyes focused on her.  
  
"Yes. I'm sorry I woke you..." she replied apathetically. She shut the door to his room and leaned against the wall outside. Hot tears fell from her eyes as she whispered into the darkness. "I'm sorry, Tamahome, but I will never be able to leave this place of loneliness."  
  
~  
Even though you're so close,  
You're still so distant,  
And I can't bring you back,  
  
It's true the way I feel,  
Was promised by you're face,  
The sound of you're voice,  
Painted on my memories,  
Even if you're not with me,  
I'm with you.  
~  
Owari 


End file.
